Today someone posted on facebook that in the same way girls are criminalised for baby-dumping, the men responsible for the pregnancies should be too. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I perused the comments which were along the lines of “women need to learn to take responsibility for their mess after they’ve spent the money they get from men buying airtime and Brazilian hair”, “Think of the stupid moods women have during that time (pregnancy), not everyone would like to take that nonsense.” (This one came from someone who considers himself a “responsible father” and I guess expects a reward of sorts for staying through the “nonsense”). Another one was “I don’t support men who don’t take their responsibilities as fathers, but if a woman is not being supported by the father of the baby, does that give right to a woman to dump the baby? Baby dumping is killing. If the man is not supportive, there are procedures to be followed to make the man take responsibility. Women dump babies because they want to dump babies.”
I could have pointed out that if we look back in the news reports, the girls dumping their babies are hardly ever the Brazilian weave wearing kind even though I really do not get what that has to do with anything. I could have pointed out that being a parent (a father, to be precise) is about much more than giving out a few hundred dollars. I would have liked to point out the stupidity in the ridiculously flawed thinking that because a woman is “moody” a man is excused in not sticking around. However, that last comment simply has me indignant, “WOMEN DUMP BABIES BECAUSE THEY WANT TO”???
It’s amazing how easily people will paint a woman as the villain without offering any form or concrete support, because the truth is nobody can really “make a man take responsibility”, No one does. I find it rather pretentious when people get on the “women are murderers” bandwagon because then I’m inclined to point out that were women afforded the opportunity to CHOOSE to have safe abortions, we wouldn’t have baby dumping as a problem. Anyhow, someone from my church might be reading this and I’ll be dis-fellowshipped for advocating for abortion, so let me stick to baby dumping. See, it’s all good and well to advocate for the life of a child, but what’s to be said about the quality of that life? What will s/he eat? What will s/he wear? And if the girl or woman in question is not prepared for motherhood, what kind of life are we wishing upon this baby? I would think it a bigger sin to bring a child into a world of suffering, knowing you can’t cater for the child, than to not bring her or him into it at all, but apparently not.
I do wish young girls (especially) would be more careful and responsible in their sexual engagements, but I cannot turn a blind eye to the fact that very few women in Namibia have complete autonomy of their sex lives. So more than anything, I wish people would just get off their moral high horses and look at the problems in our society more practically and realistically.